


Escapist

by surena_13



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-14
Updated: 2012-01-14
Packaged: 2017-10-29 12:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/319879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surena_13/pseuds/surena_13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura tells Bill her cancer has returned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Escapist

**Escapist**

Laura blinked as she felt her body go numb. She had known for a while now that it had come back. She knew what it felt like to have death as a constant companion and since a few weeks it had returned to her side, weighing heavily in her breast as it spread the diseased cells through her body. But to hear the actual words made it real in a way she didn’t want.

 

“Thank you, doctor,” she said, her voice calm and collected as she felt the emotions rage inside her body. “I want to fight it with everything I’ve got.”

 

“I can start your first Doloxin treatment right now,” Cottle said, the grumpy tone having been replaced with something she had only rarely heard in the man’s voice, compassion and regret. It told her she had already lost the war before she started it.

 

“No,” she replied, shaking her head. “Not this week, not yet. I’ll start next week.” She needed one last week where she could be herself, free from the toxins that would soon take over her body, make her so sick so would barely be able to think straight. He nodded, putting a cigarette between his lips and lighting it, hesitating for a brief moment but inhaling when he wasn’t met with a disapproving look.

 

“It’s not what I’d advise, but I understand. I will see you in seven days exactly and not eight, young lady, or I will come to Colonial One myself and drag you in here whether you like it or not.” Laura smiled weakly. They’d be in the middle of Baltar’s trial. If everything went according to the schedule, she had just given her testimony by then.

 

“I’ll be here. I promise.” Cottle merely raised an eyebrow at her, taking a long drag from his cigarette before opening the curtain, exhaling the smoke away from her. She didn’t say that she didn’t mind it anymore, that she was longing for a drag, just one drag.

 

“Then you can go.” Laura slid off the bed, her heels clicking on the deck. She was barely out the hatch when she was flanked by her guards, black forms by her side. She wanted to snicker at the thought. Protecting something that was dying anyway. It seemed so useless now. Blindly she turned corners, each hallway looking like the other. Quickening her pace, she didn’t realize where her feet were taking until she stood in front of the Admiral’s hatch.

 

“Madam President?” Bill sounded surprised when she entered his quarters without knocking. She ran a hand through her hair, not knowing how to tell him that her cancer had come back, not when he was looking at like she could fall apart any moment. The look in his eyes was breaking down her defenses, one at a time. 

 

“Bill, I - -,” Laura started, stumbling over her words. She didn’t want to tell him, couldn’t find the right words. How could she tell him she was dying again when he had just lost Kara? Without saying anything, she started unbuttoning her blouse, the dark red fabric parting as she slid the buttons through the holes.

 

“Laura,” Bill said as he stood up from his couch, his eyes wide, walking towards her, putting his hands on her shoulders as she let the garment slide down her arms and fall to the deck. He looked worried, concerned for her sanity. “What are you doing?”

 

Wordlessly she took one his hands and placed it on her left breast as she pressed a finger against his lips. His hand was warm against her skin. Bill tried to pull his hand back, but she tightened her grip. Laura guided his fingertips to the small lump in her breast, hiding under her skin, slowly draining her of her life.

 

“Laura,” he whispered, his voice breaking. She was shocked to see tears filling up his eyes, threatening to fall. The proud Admiral turned into a broken man right in front of her. The reality of it all came crashing down on her as she looked into his blue eyes. This didn’t just concern her anymore.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Bill,” she said as she wiped away some of his tears with her thumbs. “If I could I would change it, I would.” She put her hands on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, his chin resting on her head.

 

“How long have you known?” Laura had expected that, after the last time. She wondered if it was any better now that she told him the minute she knew for certain. The news shocked him now, right down to his very core. The cancer brought emotions with it now that she previously hadn’t needed to bother with.

 

“I just came back from Cottle.” He almost sighed in relief as he gently rubbed her back, tracing her spine and Laura found herself leaning in to his touch, the warmth of his skin, the roughness of his hands. It made her feel so strangely alive at a moment when she was just handed her death sentence.

 

“How are you feeling? Any pain?” He ran a hand through her hair as she shook her head. It was too early for there to be pain. Next week when the Doloxin treatments started, then there would be pain and nausea and the desperate want to curl up in a corner and pray to the Lords that it could be over. For now there was still time for her to feel everything the way they were meant to be felt.

 

“I would just like to scream, just for once, until my voice gets hoarse and my lungs burn. Do you know that feeling, that haunting feeling where you just want to do something, anything that goes completely against everything you’ve become?” she mumbled against his chest, feeling his heart beating against her palm.

 

“Yeah, I do.” He kissed the top of her head to punctuate his words, holding her even closer. She grasped the fabric of his uniform as she forced her tears not to fall. He loved her, had loved her for longer than both of them wanted to admit. And now she was dying again and it all didn’t matter. “I do, Laura.”

 

He slid two fingers under her chin and lifted her head until she was looking into his eyes. He had cried more, she could see the wet streaks of his tears on his cheeks. He cupped her cheek, brushing his thumb over her bottom lip as he leaned in and kissed her. It was gentle, so soft, much like that kiss he had given her after his promotion.

 

His lips tasted like the salt of his tears, like the liquor he had been constantly drinking ever since the news of Kara’s death, they tasted like him. Laura knew that she shouldn’t be doing this, not when the cancer was back. But his hand was warm on the small of her back and his tongue ran over her bottom lip and she couldn’t let the time they had left just slip away.

 

She broke the kiss, fighting her tears in vain, furiously wiping them away. But Bill stopped her, never taking his eyes off of her as he kissed her palms before softly pressing his lips against her forehead. Laura wished she could tell him it would be alright, that she was going to survive this and that together they would find Earth.

 

Placing her head on his chest again, she sighed and heard him do the same. She wanted to disappear in his arms, be completely enveloped by his warmth and just not face reality for just one moment, to escape into his embrace. It was a perfect moment of serenity. While the fighting constantly continued, a battle both outside his hatch and inside her body, she found peace, for a moment where she least expected.


End file.
